If someone would ask me what to choose between a relationship or themselves, I always would say:

Choose yourself!

Read that again!

Always choose yourself!

It’s not selfish. It’s self care. And self respect. And you are brave for doing that!

If you find yourself in a place in a relationship where you have to choose between the relationship and your own being, something is not right.

Maybe that relationship is not for you.

Maybe you pushed too hard. You tried too much to force a situation that doesn’t fit you. Doesn’t fulfill you.

You’re not selfish for wanting to follow your truth.

You are just brave enough to admit that first and foremost you belong to yourself.

And then to others.’

And think like this: if you can’t be loyal to yourself, how could you be loyal to your partner in the future?

Cheating yourself is only the short way to disappoint yourself and others.

So no, your self sacrifice is not love.

It’s just a poor definition of devotion learned early in your life.

It was your way of finding peace in chaos trying everything you could do so you can survive another difficult situation.

It was an attempt to leave everything behind, your needs, desires, your dreams so you can fulfill someone’s needs. Your emotional survival depended on that.

And now you find that the right way to do in a relationship.

To please.

To over give.

To perform without checking in on your own needs.

Because for so much time you weren’t important to others. Or that’s what your mind translated to you.

So now, do yourself a favor and stop cheating on yourself! Stop sacrificing in the name of love.

That’s not what love asks from you.

Love would never put you choose between you and the other.

Love will push you to support your partner. 

To push yourself to grow into your best version.

True love will make you grow and be a better you. You’ll not have to sacrifice your spirit. 

You will expand your spirit. 

Love would never ask to give up on yourself. 

True love will only teach you how amazing is to feel more alive, more confident and more yourself being in devotion for the partner.

Devotion is different than sacrifice.

And that devotional love can be the most beautiful dream that we can dream of.

When you don’t give up on yourself, you expand yourself for being in service to others because you choose to and that choice makes you so fulfilled.

So you choose yourself choosing the partner. 

And what a magical that way can be.

May you always choose yourself first

not out of pride, but out of truth.

May you remember that devotion without self-betrayal,

is the only kind that leads to real love.

May you no longer abandon your spirit to be held,

but find someone who holds you because you don’t.

May your love be born from wholeness,

not from wounds that begged to be healed in someone else’s hands.

May you never forget:

the most sacred union begins with your own heart.

And may that be the love you choose. Always.

Aniela🤍

www.MindfulTherapist.us